baby's first byline

my first-ever essay in The Cut is out now

You can read it here: https://www.thecut.com/2022/01/im-tired-of-explaining-why-i-dont-drink.html

little me!

Today my first-ever article came out in The Cut.

It’s a day I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl. I thank God for the amazing editor who supported it, the friends who read every variation of it, and every person who fielded my frantic WhatsApps at all hours of the day and night about this essay.

Writing is hard. Writing about sobriety is really hard. This is in part because I’m still figuring out how to talk about it. It’s also difficult to try to say things just right, without offending people who do drink or act as though I’m trying to speak for every person who does not. Even if this was feasible, it’d be impossible to do in 1500 words. 

But it’s more than that. 

The truth is, I can’t write about not drinking, without writing about drinking. When I write about drinking, I just want to cry. 

I did cry, a lot. Nearly every day these past two weeks. 

God, it has been so dark. To really go back to the place I was when I had been drinking and examine why it took me so long to stop. To sit in the fear and the shame and the hopelessness. To remember how I felt and why this essay feels so important to write. How much I would have loved to read it, seven years ago or seven months ago. 

I grieve the amount of time I spent doing something that hurt me and hurt several people around me, who I loved very much.  

When you can’t go back and change the past, sometimes the only way forward is to live differently. I could write books about what drinking took from me. But instead, I want to spend my time painting a vivid picture of what sobriety has given me. I want to tell the stories I didn’t know existed. 

When I was tearing this essay up for the fifth time, I remembered what a friend told me two years ago when I had been trying to get my TED talk just right. 

“You’re not going to be able to say it all. Instead of trying to cover everything, try to say something. Just one thing. It’s only the very beginning of a conversation you’ll have for the rest of your life.”

This is all to say, this essay was hard. It’s much easier to say nothing at all than to try to say everything just right, and even that is futile.

But I am proud to join the conversation. I know that if even one person finds their story in mine, it was worth it. 

All my love,

Sarah

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You can read the essay here: https://www.thecut.com/2022/01/im-tired-of-explaining-why-i-dont-drink.html

If you want to help support, here’s how!

• Text it to someone who might find it interesting

• Share on Twitter here:

  sarah wood @sarah___wood

  my first for @TheCut. grateful for the amazing editor @_jordanlarson and every person who helped support this piece ❤️

  

  thecut.comI’m Tired of Explaining Why I Don’t DrinkWe have to expand our language beyond “sober.”

  Share on Insta here:

  __sarahwood

  

  A post shared by Sarah Wood (@__sarahwood)

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