How to Build a Writing Habit When You Really Don’t Want to Write

Written by someone who didn't want to write today

Hi friends, 

Per the subject line, I didn’t want to write today. I woke up heartbroken, as so many of us are, so often these days. 

I had a funny and light essay planned, one that will eventually come out. When it does, I will be delighted alongside you. But for now, I will share my tips for building a writing habit that supports you on those days when you just really don’t want to write. Perhaps, a day like this. 

My executive coach Eric Friedman is a genius for many reasons, one being that he has introduced me to the work of James Clear. James Clear has changed my life, wrote the book that was #1 on my reading list last year, and is an evangelist of prioritizing consistency over intensity. 

As someone who signed up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat after meditating for the first time and enrolled in the NYC marathon before running a mile, I have a lot to learn from him. 

Per James Clear: You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

As someone who wakes each day anew and sets her agenda by what she feels like doing that day, I realized that my systems could use some work. Slowly, I began to work on consistency. Tiny micro shifts. The results were extraordinary. 

This year I went from essentially not writing a single word to having articles published in The Cut, Refinery29, and more. Here’s how I went from zero to one. 

5 Tips to Build a Writing Habit that Sticks

1. Shift Your Identity to “I am a Writer.” I quite literally had to whisper this phrase to myself in the early days. Eventually, I started to introduce myself to other people: “Hi, I’m a writer.” I tried it out. I loved how it felt to say it. Slowly and then all at once, I began to view my time differently. I protected my time to make sure my morning pages happened, because that’s what a writer would do. I bought a trench coach (because I thought a writer would wear it). I began to eat more protein and sleep more and generally take care of myself better so I’d have more creative energy. I began to believe it and become it. Ask yourself: What would a writer do? Then do that.

2. Prioritize Consistency over Intensity. With the urging of my executive coach, I started small. I began writing for 5 minutes a day. I’d set a timer and then stop when it was over. Five minutes was doable. It was fun (almost). It was sustainable. I kept track of my five minutes on a wall calendar where I crossed off each day in a red pen (outlined in Atomic Habits). I found that eventually, I’d write for 5 and then keep going for 10, 20, 30, because I had started something I wanted to continue. I needed to start myself into thinking, instead of thinking myself into starting. 

3. Create Forcing Mechanisms. I joined a writing group with strict deadlines to submit. This was the first time I actually wrote with rigor, submitting 7-10 page chapters, because I was so concerned about disappointing my colleagues that I got the writing done. You can go about this in many ways. Essay contests. Promising an editor you’d have a piece to them. Pitching a timely piece that you know won’t matter next week. However you can give yourself a sign post to sprint towards is an effective way to get yourself going.

4. Build Small Feedback Loops. And CELEBRATE! My process is this: I write a shitty first draft. I share with my group text of friends who proofread my writing. They give edits. I edit. I share in Foster (an amazing community of proofreaders and writers). They give me edits. I apply their edits. I publish on Substack. I get responses and see what resonated. I begin again. This way, I’m not creating in a vacuum. Each step of the process, I get feedback that gives me momentum to the next stage. These small feedback loops carry me through the writing process.

5. Find a Writing Community. It has become so much easier to write now that I am friends with people who are also writing. They understand when I explain I’m not doing Zoom calls because it drains my energy, they send me contact info of editors, they cheerlead my writing, share it when it’s published, and encourage me to be bold. Again James Clear: “One of the most effective ways to build a new habit is to join a group where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.” If you want to write, be around writers. Not physically, but virtually too. Follow writers on Instagram and Twitter. Being intentional with your attention is just as important as protecting your energy. 

Well, that’s all folks! I’m grateful to have followed my own advice here (as I press send at midnight Spain time because I told you all last week that I was going to publish weekly). If I hadn’t made the forcing mechanism, this wouldn’t be going into the world right now.

What helps you build habits? Anything I missed? Let me know! I love hearing from you.

All my love,

Sarah