Predictability unlocks strength

my year of stability and adventure - STABILITY EDITION!!!!!

It has been over a month since I sent out a newsletter due to many reasons, but mostly the fact that my year of stability and adventure has been over-indexed to adventure— *cut to scene of me on an epic 17 day boondoggle through Switzerland and Scotland with my mom*

I first started writing this newsletter on the flight home from Somerset where I was on a press trip to The Newt with some of my favorite travel journalists Monica Mendal, Crisp Packet by Heather Steele, and @Bethany.

Before that, I was traipsing through Scotland and Switzerland with an overweight bag and a dream. My mom joined me for the Switzerland leg of the trip and I have to say that it was the best of my life. (Not only is Switzerland incredibly beautiful, but to be there with my mom, who is my best friend, and to experience her first five-star hospitality experience with her, was otherworldly. You know what they say, it’s your mom’s first time living too!)

The year of adventure continued. I was home for one week and then headed to Austria with the lovely Yardsale team (Cristina Ashbaugh Kelly McGee) and Margot Lee, Aemilia Madden, and Ben from Dispatch. And I’ll finally send this newsletter out from Hotel Lilien in Tannserville upstate New York where I’m hiding out with my beloved Florence Reeves-White.

More on all these absolutely magical trips soon.

By every definition, I am living my dream life. But what Instagram (and Substack for that matter) doesn’t show is all the spinning plates that go on behind the scenes. Over the past six months I have invested heavily in building the infrastructure and systems to be able to handle this much motion and emotion.

Because without systems, things get out of control. The overwhelm comes. And then the anxiety. And then I get stuck. For the past five years, I have been executing against my goals by improvising and sprinting and pushing through to the next milestone, using stress as my motivator. But I don’t want to live like that anymore.

That’s where stability needs to come in.

Because you can’t freestyle everything without a system forever (trust me, I know.) You can’t have airy fair floaty adventure without a rock solid foundation to ground you.

In December of last year, I had two weeks in Madrid with G’s family. I was technically off work, but as anyone who is freelance will tell you, I wasn’t actually off off and instead used that time to figure out what infrastructure needed to be built so 2026 could be fundamentally different from the year that had just transpired that kept my nervous system on over-drive at all times.

I also knew that I want to become a mom in the next two to three years so that meant that 2026 was going to be a year of saying YES to the most outlandish travel experiences that came my way. With this in mind, my desire for both more peace and more adventure, I knew that these two competing desires would be only possible with the right team and habits in place. So I began to set up the scaffolding to support the life I wanted.

What I’ve Done:

Home

• Tackled some long withstanding tasks: I have not spoken much about our current apartment, but tldr, it’s absolutely lovely with crown moulding and sconces right off Central Park. However, it is very dark. And as a person who is incredibly sensitive to their environment, I need daylight. G and I have resolved to move to Brooklyn in our next move and our one requirement is daylight. Months ago, the lovely team at Hetta, the new furniture brand from the founders of Sundays, gifted me some gorgeous vintage-inspired furniture from their launch and I felt so paralyzed by the awareness that we were probably going to move that I took weeks to take the furniture out of the boxes. Once I did, I must say that I was instantly happier. What I can say about that is you that sometimes, you have to embrace the liminal space. And make it beautiful anyway.

• Styled our apartment: Once I arranged the gorgeous Hetta Hillside dining chair, Turner console table, and Rook Lounge chair, our apartment brightened up. Our kitchen made more sense with the console table providing a home for our coffee machine and arepa toaster (lol!) and we could move the desk out of the kitchen and into the living room. It was hard settling in more when I know we are leaving, but it made the past months much more enjoyable. And I have to say, it was really cute!!!

Work:

• Hired an assistant: I hired my assistant in January after being paralyzed by the daunting task of finding an assistant and I have to tell you that my life is completely transformed. Many thanks to the incredible group of female founders I’m in called the Group Chat who hosted a conversation about hiring assistants that ultimately got me in motion. And I owe Caro a lifetime of devotion for ultimately introducing me to said assistant.

• Found a great legal team: I started working with Yashreeka Huq and Michelle Nguyen at Perkins Coie LLP to review my contracts and be a sounding board. (Another Group Chat recommendation!) They’ve helped me decipher some of the trickiest jargon and I recently walked away from a large opportunity because I could not align on terms. In that moment, I was so grateful to have a brilliant team in my corner and validate that what wasn’t sitting right with me in my gut was actually not just me, it wasn’t industry standard.

• Rejoined a co-working space: Simply, I am not meant to be in the house all day. I joined a very simple co-working space on the Upper East Side with a lot of sunlight and it has been fabulous to have a destination to get to everyday. Keeping my ears out for a similar spot in Brooklyn once we get ourselves there.

Health:

• Added somatic movement into my daily workout: I am high energy which means I tend towards anxiety if I don’t get that excess energy out first thing in the morning. I go to the gym nearly every day now and walk for 30 minutes on the treadmill and then jump, swing my arms, do heart openers, twist, and shake for 5 mins. It’s like The Class by Taryn Toomey at home. I look ridiculous doing it on the open gym floor but I always feel so much better.

• Started taking supplements: I am no doctor but I did start taking Magnesium, Vitamin D, and a pre-natal vitamin and perhaps it’s placebo, but I do feel great!

• Set up a doctor’s appointment to get a physical and had annual check-up with OBGYN: I’m also going to do health testing with Function Health to see what’s happening in my body.

• Invested in my bulletproof clothing: Again, maybe placebo, but I have nearly completely switched to natural fibers for the clothes I wear everyday and I feel great. That includes cotton underwear and lovely cotton undershirts from Skall Studio and 100% cotton sweatpants from Frank and Eileen. Next, I’m hoping to switch my workout clothes to natural materials. On the shoe front, I’ve also found comfortable black flats built for the miles I stomp in NYC: for fancy & for everyday.

Heart

• Got back on with weekly therapy sessions: I had switched to a monthly cadence and at the start of this year I moved back to a bi-weekly cadence and now weekly. It has been great to have so much support in such a moment of transition and have extra support when my grandpa passed away unexpectedly two weeks ago.

Financial Health

• Closed and consolidated credit cards: My therapist and I talk frequently about money. Her favorite financial advice is to “get clear on how money moves through your life.” She is so wise. And for me, consolidating and closing credit cards was the right next step. I know there is a points strategy that I’m missing out on, but for now, I want to know exactly what I’m spending on my debit card. I am also going to bring on a bookkeeper.

• Started to figure out Frequent Flyer miles: And after an inspiring pep talk with Monica Mendal, I realized I needed to figure out my frequent flyer optimization / credit card points. If anyone wants to opine, I welcome your advice. Hopefully by the end of this year, I will have great status and become a first-class girl and my memories of long haul flights in middle seat economy will be long-gone.

As I list it out, I feel a swell of pride at all the progress that I’ve made on this laundry list of unsexy, grown-up tasks. But I did not tackle it all at once. I did one at a time and started to stack the habits onto each other. If you see this list as completely intimidating, please know that Rome wasn’t built in a day–and well, neither is a well-oiled machine.

The difference between where I am now and where I was a year ago is that I’m no longer trying to do everything by myself. I also know that I need to live and die by my routines and what I know works well for me.

New York can be a lot for a sensitive nervous system if you don’t have scaffolding. So I just need to be uncompromising in my habits, especially my morning habits to make sure I do what I need to do so I can do what I want to do.

I have long operated from a ‘more is more’ mentality and I still believe that to be true. As long as you resource yourself to be able to handle it all. Now nine months into being back in New York City, I wholeheartedly love being here. For someone who loves to strive, it is a perfect playground. Every day I meet a brilliant, shiny person who might change my life. As G used to say (with me rolling my eyes): “I walk outside and smell opportunity.” Now, I agree with him.

My whole mindset has changed because my actions have changed. I know what I need to do to feel okay. Without my regular morning routine and habits, I don’t think I’d be able to handle this much. And while there is still a lot yet that needs to be done, I know I can handle it. Bit by bit, adding it on one thing at a time, and not being afraid to ask for help.

What I need to do still:

• Go to the dentist - lol

• Add a monthly spending check-in, start working with a financial advisor?

• Move apartments

• Finish figuring out frequent flier stuff

I’m sure there is more there to be added.

Recently, I went to Hilary Hoffman ( The Weekly Assist)’s opening class for her Upper East Side location of SotoMethod. (Fun sidebar, I worked with Hilary at Goldman and when I was an intern, I followed her around the trading floor like a puppy because I thought (and still do!) that she was the most fun, brilliant, expansive person I had ever met.) I like SotoMethod because not only is it a great workout, it’s also a great dose of wisdom if you happen to have Hilary as a teacher.

In the class, Hilary said something that stuck with me: Predictability unlocks strength.

And while I know that my life is always going to be slightly unpredictable in the broad strokes, what I can get strength from is having a predictable set of habits and systems that are in my locus of control. So even if I’m flying around the world, yodeling and frolicking in far-flung corners, I will be grounded in strength.

And that, is the gift of stability!