Why Being Less Chill is the Best Thing You Could Do for Your Community

[03]: Joy Soldier

Hello party people, 

By party people, I mean you, dear readers of this newsletter in a party-devoid world. We may, one day, be party people in more than name alone again— when IRL gathering is safe— with the desire to attend or host a party. 

Personally, I’ve come to delight in the fact that everything I read professionally about community will help me as an aspiring dinner-party-host (pending an end to Covid and a move out of our 1-bathroom-for-4-people Tribeca apartment).

Without further ado, party person, you are cordially invited to the 3rd virtual gathering of Community Community on Upstream! 

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Community Community Lunch #3 with Nora Abousteit at 12pm-12:30pm ET: Nora is a Community & Crafting Extraordinaire and the Founder of CraftJam. Join us to discuss generous authority, belonging, & all things community! (RSVP)

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I’m super excited about this week’s guest — Nora Abousteit.

Who is Nora Abousteit?

Priya Parker, in her esteemed work, The Art of Gathering, cites Nora Abousteit as a “Generous Authority” guru. In Priya’s words, Nora “understands that generous authority is a commitment, and that she must sustain the protecting, equalizing, and connecting of her guests throughout the event.”

What is Generous Authority?

“A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong, confident hand, but it is run selflessly, for the sake of others. Generous authority is imposing in a way that serves your guests.” — Priya Parker

As someone who self-identifies as a recovering, aspiring chill person, this deeply shook me. Was trying to be a chill host actually detrimental to my gathering?

Aspiring chill host says, “Come whenever!” and “Bring whatever!” Aspiring chill host ends up with a gathering that never really begins as people cycle in and out, with five tubs of hummus but no beverages. 

In my own pursuit of “chillness,” I’ve failed the communities and gatherings I’ve put together. 

So here’s the end of keeping up the illusion of coolness and trading it for a more engaged, intentional, and others-oriented way of gathering.

I can’t wait to be in conversation with Nora tomorrow. Hope to see you there!

Know a fellow recovering chill host? Forward this email and invite them along!

With gratitude and joy,

Sarah

P.S. A fun fact — when I was reading The Art of Gathering I realized that not only had I heard of Nora, I actually knew her!

I met Nora years ago at a women’s networking event and have since gone to CraftJam parties in person (pictured below) and virtually (my mom and I took a calligraphy class in March!)

Photo: Bridget, Waverly, Caroline, and I getting our crafting on at CraftJam!! (Not pictured: the joy soldier t-shirt I embroidered, Caroline)

P.P.S. If you got all the way to the bottom of this, you are absolutely a Joy Soldier. You should know that we are also having our 5th Joy Soldier meet-up tomorrow at 8pm ET on Upstream— would love to have you there! (RSVP)