committing to who you want to become
it must've been fate that i found your post at the right time, just when i received notice that i'm probably getting laid off. thing is, i am not sad over it. i've been wanting to quit since the beginning and i've been pretty bored and miserable at this job, but have always convinced myself to stay because i was afraid of changing my life and facing my fears.
but i think this is my sign (getting fired, and your post) that i really need to confront my fears and create the life i really want, even though it is very uncomfortable and scary to me, especially since i'm a very passive person. most of my life, i just did whatever my parents told me even though i was miserable, since i was scared to take the risk of following my own path. obviously that has costed me a lot of time and pain.
anyway, apologies for the rant, but just wanted to say thank you for this post.
Thank you so much for putting into words something that I've been feeling the past 4 years. For the longest time I was afraid of leaving my old life behind...but i realize i haven't even started making a dent into build my new life and the life i want to live because i've been too afraid of leaving my current life. I realized it's may things I've been scared of-- leaving my parents behind, best friends, my dog (probably because she's like a sibling to me since i never had human siblings), and of course, friendships ending and losing people in my life. I don't now how I'm going to overcome this fear, but I also know that if i don't start trying to make my dream life a reality, it will probably be the biggest regret of my 20s.
I loved this post! I literally had the same epiphany 4 years ago after I had my first two children. I was finding myself surrounded by people who were not enjoying their life as a mother so I naturally started to have the same feelings. I knew I had to change and thankfully found a new group who had such a healthier viewpoint on child rearing. Our environment and group associations plays a huge part on our thoughts, mood, and motivation. I am very happy for you that you have made that connection and started a path you truly desire.
Thank you for writing this, and putting to words what I’ve felt for so long, but could not adequately voice.
I am 69 years old. I retired from a job I loved and knew was my calling in life. But, here I am. Tearing up at your article and gosh, darn, this is so me. Can you believe it? I’ve been ‘trying’ my entire life. Big WOW for me. Beautiful and true. A change is gon come. Thank you !
Reading your work for the first time, and I’m struck by the parallels of what I learned about life and being over a four year stage 4 cancer journey. Congratulations on getting to the clarity you needed to change your life.
Pretty sure it’s not what you intended, but I just spent an hour changing my “environment” by unsubscribing to emails trying to sell me things I don’t need (mostly via implicit promise of a better life). I feel lighter and more myself already!
Surround yourself with goodness, truth, and beauty. Thanks for the article!
Thanks for sharing your experience. Associations do make a difference whether for good, bad or purely indifferent! We all need to look for the positive. The reason so many kids get into trouble comes down to their associations.
thanks for this. going through this season myself, and the guilt is real. your text reminded me to let go of that, and feel grateful for the experiences. love from brasil <3
What a gorgeous, illuminating post. Thank you. (Aside: James Clear is the best on these topics. I say that as one not easily swayed by productivity folks. I respect his work immensely.)
A wonderful take on relationships and our need for them. I am 63 and have moved several times and I have many friends. Not all of which I am in constant contact with. But with most we can pick up after months or years. I am blessed!
What an amazing piece. I needed to read this. We have to let go to let the new come in !
This is magnificent and resonated with me because my life (seasons) have also transformed me and the way I live to help me become the person I am. I’ve always been a happy person, but joy is far more powerful than happiness. Not saying happiness isn’t good or important! Just that joy doesn’t fade like happiness can and does.
Our kids are almost all grown, so that brings us (my husband & I and also our kids) into another plane of our lives. We’re making a HUGE move next summer after our son graduates from university. It’s terribly frightening AND unspeakably exciting all at once.
I found your Substack accidentally, by the way and I’m so glad I did. I’m forwarding this post to my beautiful 19 yr old daughter, who (ironically) is also named Sarah.
beautiful. I love the way you describe the seasons of life, and of friendship--a concept we don't talk enough about in society. Grieving our old lives/friends as we change for better, and releasing the guilt that doing what's needed to be our best selves isn't selfish after all. Hard, and beautiful.