Just sharing that fwiw in the (only 8) weeks since having my first daughter, I sense myself becoming more ambitious, not less. I want her to see me working hard, on things I care about, and sharing that with her. I sense you might feel the same!
I am also 8 weeks pp (hi natalie congrats!!!) and completely agree- I feel more driven and excited than ever to accomplish my dreams and goals. The anticipation of having a baby was way more intense and anxiety inducing than actually doing it. My pregnancy was also extremely unplanned, 😅 terrifying in the moment, but kind of ended up being the best possible thing for me personally. Of course everyone is different, but I'm with Natalie I'd imagine bringing a new life into the world would explode your sense of creativity and drive. Wishing you so much luck on the journey- it's all so crazy!
You really nailed my current internal struggle here. That to-do list anxiety, especially in your mid-30's, is real! I also struggle with folks externally telling me that my priorities MUST or HAVE to shift soon if I even want to CONSIDER parenthood, when changing said priorities is not my desire at all.
Anyway, thank you. I needed to read this today. <3
I agree, you definitely have to trust the timing of your life ❤️ and you can absolutely ask me a million billion questions when we meet for that coffee soon! X
I’m way past these issues, being old & grey & all that, but totally get how it relates to my daughters’ generation.
“ Was I allowed to want to have a big career and creative life and want to be a mom?
The answer, I decided, was yes. But the bigger question was, “How?””
Well, one things for certain. You don’t get both the career/creative life AND parenthood without going for both. If you’ve made the decision that’s what you want then go for it. One life, not a rehearsal. Good luck, and enjoy! 🍀
Ohmygosh. I can relate SO, SO, SO deeply. I'm still going back and forth with so many of these thoughts and questions even with a baby actively forming! Learning to trust life is the greatest lesson I need to learn over and over...thank you for the reminder you beautiful being!!
I adore you so much and admire you so much!!!! Your essay was SOOO powerful and made me so grateful to have a peek into your perspective--that you don't have to have everything 100 percent figured out. I learn so much from you!!!
Since having my son I’ve written two books and have another two that will be done in the next year tops. They are inspirational (kids). We have been sold a lie. Get baby making. I say that with love .
"Was I allowed to want to have a big career and creative life and want to be a mom? The answer, I decided, was yes. But the bigger question was, “How?”" I love everything about this and I, too, spent years searching for role models of how to do it. I write about a lot of it in my memoir, The Mother Code, and love seeing that other women are having these conversations as well. Look forward to reading your book one day <3
I've had similar conversations with friends and I think part of the fear is that if you have kids you won't accomplish these ambitions, but I hope (!!) that by choosing to be a mother it helps clarify the ambitions.
I found that being a mom has been the ultimate glow-up for me - professionally, personally and physically. There's something about giving birth that gives you a confidence and appreciation for yourself and body, your child becomes a daily reminder that you're stronger than you knew. I found myself overthinking less and trusting my gut more.
It's a crazy, pure journey and absolutely worth it ! Good luck :)
Just sharing that fwiw in the (only 8) weeks since having my first daughter, I sense myself becoming more ambitious, not less. I want her to see me working hard, on things I care about, and sharing that with her. I sense you might feel the same!
It is SO helpful to hear. Gah I'm so happy for you and admire you so so so much.
I am also 8 weeks pp (hi natalie congrats!!!) and completely agree- I feel more driven and excited than ever to accomplish my dreams and goals. The anticipation of having a baby was way more intense and anxiety inducing than actually doing it. My pregnancy was also extremely unplanned, 😅 terrifying in the moment, but kind of ended up being the best possible thing for me personally. Of course everyone is different, but I'm with Natalie I'd imagine bringing a new life into the world would explode your sense of creativity and drive. Wishing you so much luck on the journey- it's all so crazy!
You really nailed my current internal struggle here. That to-do list anxiety, especially in your mid-30's, is real! I also struggle with folks externally telling me that my priorities MUST or HAVE to shift soon if I even want to CONSIDER parenthood, when changing said priorities is not my desire at all.
Anyway, thank you. I needed to read this today. <3
Thank you so so so much for reading and I'm so glad to hear it resonated!!!
I agree, you definitely have to trust the timing of your life ❤️ and you can absolutely ask me a million billion questions when we meet for that coffee soon! X
Rosie!!!!!!! I cannot wait for our coffee and to hear everything about your beautiful experience
I’m way past these issues, being old & grey & all that, but totally get how it relates to my daughters’ generation.
“ Was I allowed to want to have a big career and creative life and want to be a mom?
The answer, I decided, was yes. But the bigger question was, “How?””
Well, one things for certain. You don’t get both the career/creative life AND parenthood without going for both. If you’ve made the decision that’s what you want then go for it. One life, not a rehearsal. Good luck, and enjoy! 🍀
Thank you so much for reading. I love that "One life, not a rehearsal." So true
Ohmygosh. I can relate SO, SO, SO deeply. I'm still going back and forth with so many of these thoughts and questions even with a baby actively forming! Learning to trust life is the greatest lesson I need to learn over and over...thank you for the reminder you beautiful being!!
I adore you so much and admire you so much!!!! Your essay was SOOO powerful and made me so grateful to have a peek into your perspective--that you don't have to have everything 100 percent figured out. I learn so much from you!!!
Since having my son I’ve written two books and have another two that will be done in the next year tops. They are inspirational (kids). We have been sold a lie. Get baby making. I say that with love .
I look forward to your book and think it will likely be Sarah Wood Gonzalez meets Sarah Wood Gonzalez when the time is right.
I love that!!!!!!!
"Was I allowed to want to have a big career and creative life and want to be a mom? The answer, I decided, was yes. But the bigger question was, “How?”" I love everything about this and I, too, spent years searching for role models of how to do it. I write about a lot of it in my memoir, The Mother Code, and love seeing that other women are having these conversations as well. Look forward to reading your book one day <3
you nailed it! :)
I've had similar conversations with friends and I think part of the fear is that if you have kids you won't accomplish these ambitions, but I hope (!!) that by choosing to be a mother it helps clarify the ambitions.
that is such a great article, thanks for putting the words to my feelings. still struggling with a ED and woth maternity’s questions.
Thank you so much for reading ❤️
Not that she’s the best mother figure, but Alice Munro’s writing career is quite inspirational considering her success.
Thank you so much for sharing!!!
So relatable!
I found that being a mom has been the ultimate glow-up for me - professionally, personally and physically. There's something about giving birth that gives you a confidence and appreciation for yourself and body, your child becomes a daily reminder that you're stronger than you knew. I found myself overthinking less and trusting my gut more.
It's a crazy, pure journey and absolutely worth it ! Good luck :)
Love this!!💕💕💕
I love you!!!